You could call them Daddy Issues.

But not really. I know my dad really wants me to come live with him in Antioch. It's no secret and he constantly brings it up, sometimes passive-aggressively. I know he doesn't mean to, but it still happens.

And I would go if I wanted to, but I don't.

I want my dad to know that yeah, I love my time over there with him and my stepmom and my stepborthers and sisters, but I have a life over here too. And I would still probably be friends with some of the people over here, but I know at the end of the day we wouldn't be as close.

And even if I did go to Cane Ridge, my dad would also probably push me  to play football. Which I don't want to do either. I don't mean to hurt him, but I have too many friends over here to make a big change like that.

And I really do love it over there, and them.

I just wish he wouldn't bring it up as often.

Fear, like an ocean

I need to stop fucking tiptoeing around what I'm actually trying to do. I want to ask you out, but I feel like I just really confused you. I shouldn't beat around the bush.

gah

I just want to beat myself up for doing that. I'm sorry.

I'm honestly scared.

I keep telling myself the worst thing that can happen is you saying no, but I just cant really process that, I think. I want to show you what kind of a person I am. There's only so much a person can tell from texting. I really want this

I've fucking wanted this since 6th grade, when you were taller than me. Funny how things work out.

I'm scared of rejectment
I'm scared of not being a good boyfriend
I'm scared of being judged
I'm scared that you don't like me back
I'm scared of what I don't know



I'm just so fucking scared. But I want this to happen more than anything.



I need to pray.
-Caleb

Intro/Ocoee

Uh, Hi, I guess. I'm used to the tumblr format,, y'know, just jot a joke down, get a note or two, reblog, rinse and repeat.

Well, I guess I should introduce myself to all 1 of you (Hey, Rei!)
I'm Caleb, I'm a sophomore in high school. I'm 14, but Sophomore sounds much better to me. Most of the time people think I either skipped a grade or am just really young. It's the latter. If you saw me, you would probably place me right around 17. That's because I'm right around 6'3, 260. I'm a wrestler and a thrower, and I used to play football but stopped having fun with it, so i stopped.

That's probably something you'll notice about me. If I'm not enjoying it, or it's not making me better in any way, then I won't do it. Why would you do something you don't enjoy? I mean, sure, do something you don't want to do for a friend, and that will make them happy and bring you closer together.
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-Casual subject change-

So, every year, during the summer, I go to my favorite place in the whole wide world (Humor me), Camp Ocoee. I've been going for 8 years, and it's been one wonderful summer after another. I love it. No, not like someone loves a new cell phone, or a car, or a video game or something. It's not just love, it's the feeling that I truly belong. Quite a while ago, my older brother, Cameron, stopped going, but I kept having the time of my life, without someone else to be there for me. That changed after my parents got divorced, and my dad remarried. This wasn't the problem, it was that my 9-year-old ( At the time) step-brother, Jon, wanted to go too. I was kinda uncomfortable about this, but coped nonetheless. Looking back, I feel bad for not wanting him to go at first.

I realized that I had claimed Ocoee for myself, and did not want some other kid, who I hardly knew, coming with me on my pilgrimage to my place. I also realized that I had been selfish, and that Ocoee was not for one, it was an experience that had to be shared to be truly enjoyed. I think I know what the founder was thinking when he started the camp. 'Man, this would be a great place for kids to grow in Christ.' And it is.